Day 60

So today pretty much sucked.

I felt lonely, scared & somewhat rejected.

That was before work.

I can now add angry, frustrated, upset, judged, vengeful, unappreciated, worried & fed up to the list.

I really hate so many things about my life and my job today.

I'll get over it.

On the plus side, i got sweet as shoes for the races! Yay.

HELLO, DOCTOR. 

Went to see the doc today for results of the blood sucking.

I don't have Coeliac (thanks Mike!) disease which is nice.

Nor do I have diabetes, another relief.

I do however, have insanely low iron.

Your iron level is supposed to be between 50 and 165.

Mine is 9.

Oops.

I don't have to take supplements because we know it's because of my shocking diet/lifestyle that they're so low.

So i just have to make some significant changes to the way I eat (as in, i have to eat. haha.)

Easy? 

I hope so.

I write lyrics when i'm sad.

For some reason, i don't write much when i'm happy.

I'm such a freaking emo.

Putting them up is a little scary.

I feel somewhat exposed.

I hope they're good.

I wish I could write music.

1. 

use me 

love me

break me

leave me

feels good, right?

feels so good.

kiss me

bite me

hug me

kill me

feels so good right now

so good.

say it

do it

want it

need it

act it

buy it

kill it

leave it

feels so good to you.

2.

dry your eyes girl

hit the lights

dance til your legs 

become your enemy

crazy is the only way

forget the doom & dark

grab your slapper girlfriends

and show them how it's done

im the cure for a broken heart 

the way to make you smile

who cries for love or money

when im out here for the taking?

im chaos

flashing lights

loud noise

hot damn

sweat

sing

dance

run

jump

and

GO!

3.

blood and other bodily fluids

the stuff of dreams

of nightmares?

thoughts on paper, blood on pavement

and so we begin again.

breathing shallow

changing hands

anything to keep this alive

loving someone is hanging around

to fight with them another day

give me the reasons you hide in your head

i'll brand them on my hands, my heart

whatever you need

i'll give you 

to show you i'm here

to fight

to love

to cry

to run

to scream

with you

you give me your body but board up your mind

we live in happy hour, on red tag sales,

we buy it all but the glass case stays locked

i find myself drowning in a shallow end 

the page turns, a new day, it begins again.

tell me why this turns you on?

let me in on the secret 

let me forever be your hidden place.