Day 32

I think I'm losing my mind.

It's like I have to rediscover who I am without my car and consequently, my freedom.

I don't give a crap about uni, what is that? 

Where did my morals and my values and my standards and my hard working-ness go?

I honestly don't care. 

I just want to pass. Not worry about giving it my all even though I don't like it.

I tell my mum i'll look for something for her next time i'm out. 

Like i'm going anywhere without her?!

I search frantically for new clothes hoping to disguise the hopeless loserishness that seems to be seeping out of me.

I'm passing up a chance at a friendship - maybe more - due to distance & no car.

My brother likes the same music as me but he plays it super loud 24/7 & I just want to deck him.

I gave notice at Civic today, 2 months notice, but I have no other job to go to. I'm terrified.

I go out at night and come home the next afternoon.

I cry over unsuccessful shopping trips. 

Because I can't just pick up & go the next day to get what I missed/couldn't get/forgot.

I'm losing touch with friends that I used to only see after work or at midnight maccas.

I get called a whore by a friend's girlfriend & get my character assaulted by another friend's ex. 

I don't have any money.

I don't have a plan.

Lord, forgive my selfishness, my doubt, my unbelief. 

I know He has a plan.

& that's all I have to lean on.

GOOD THINGS.

I got 2 extra odd jobs for LV and earned an extra $110 this week.

Davila really encouraged me. Thank you for your faith, babe!

It's my birthday tomorrow.

Aw, heck.

20!

No longer a teenager.

I hope it doesn't rain. 

(I hate when it rains on my birthday)

Bedtime.